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Always the way...

Hahhaha,, this is the Guud one!    

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I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately 
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my 
gas with the beat of the music. 

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, 
and noticed that everybody was staring at me.... 

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

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A new guy in town walks into a bar and notices a large jar filled to the brim with $10 bills. The man approaches the bartender and asks, "What's up with the jar?"

 

"Well, you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, then you get all the money."

 

"What are the three tests?" asks the man

 

"Gotta pay first."

 

So the guy gives him the $10 bucks, and the bartender adds it to the jar.

 

"OK, here's what you have to do. First, you have to drink that whole bottle of pepper tequila -- the WHOLE thing at once -- and you can't make a face while doing it. Second, there's a pit bull chained up out back with a sore tooth. You have to remove the tooth with your bare hands. Third, there is a 90-year-old woman upstairs who's never had an ***** in her life. You gotta make things right for her."

 

"Well, I know I've paid my $10 bucks," says the man, "but I'm not an idiot. No wonder you've collected so much money -- that's impossible!"

 

The new guy proceeds to drink several whiskeys, and eventually, he gets up his nerve.

 

"Wherez zat teeqeelah?" he slurs.

 

He grabs the bottle of pepper tequila with both hands and downs it, gulp by gulp. Tears are streaming down his cheeks, but he doesn't make a face. Next, he staggers out back. Everyone in the bar hears a huge scuffle outside -- barking, yelping and growling, then silence.

 

Just when they think the man must be dead, he staggers back into the bar with his shirt ripped and gashes across his body.

 

"NOW," he says, "wherez at ol' lady with the sore tooth?"

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I've read this one before but it is still funny...hahahahahaa.

 

He gave the pit bull an oorgasmm it never had...

then looking for the old lady with the sore tooth...

That tobble of lequita sure did its job! Waaaahahahaha.

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  • 4 weeks later...
A guy walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas."

 

The barman says, "Wow, you must have had one hard day."

 

"Yeah, I just found out my oldest son is g a y."

 

The next day, the same guy comes into the bar and asks for six more double vodkas. When the bartender asks what's wrong, the man says, "I just found out that my youngest son is g a y, too!"

 

On the third day, the guy comes into the bar and orders another six double vodkas. The bartender says, "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"

 

The man downs the first drink and shakes his head, "Yeah, my wife!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

 

Why did she go to the other side? To go to the bar.

 

Why did she go to the bar? To go to the toilet.

 

Why did she go to the toilet? Because that's where all the c o c k s hang out.

 

Hahhaha! :D 

 

Could we take it as a possible answer of Afi's quiz as well? 

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Hahhaha! :D

 

Could we take it as a possible answer of Afi's quiz as well? 

 

Yes you can! But none of them are correct though. Still...one of them was VERY close!!! Hahahahaha.

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  • 2 weeks later...

 

A guy walks into a bar and orders six shooters. The bartender says, "Looks like you are having a bad day."

 

The guy says, "Am I ever! I woke up late for work. On my way to work, I got in an accident. When I got to work, I was four hours late, so the boss fired me. To top it off, I came home to my wife ***** my best friend."

 

The bartender says, "What did you say to your wife?"

 

The guy says, "I told her to get out, and I never want to see her again."

 

The bartender says, "What did you say to your best friend?"

 

The guy says, "BAD DOG!"

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A guy walks into a bar and orders six shooters. The bartender says, "Looks like you are having a bad day."

 

The guy says, "Am I ever! I woke up late for work. On my way to work, I got in an accident. When I got to work, I was four hours late, so the boss fired me. To top it off, I came home to my wife ***** my best friend."

 

The bartender says, "What did you say to your wife?"

 

The guy says, "I told her to get out, and I never want to see her again."

 

The bartender says, "What did you say to your best friend?"

 

The guy says, "BAD DOG!"

GOOD ONE.. :good:

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A Man Wins the Lottery    

          

A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Martha, pack up your things. I just won the state lottery!"

Martha replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?"The man responds, "I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon!"

 

:rofl::)

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