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    CASINO JOKE OF THE DAY

    cocopop3011
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    bigdk88
    bigdk88

    Always the way...

    cocopop3011
    cocopop3011

    Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion.   The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single.   One day he decided t

    Awena
    Awena

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    Afi4wins We Adore You

    Afi4wins

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    The husband wired the machine wrong!!! Typical husband! :D

     

    Heeeey! Wait a minute! :angry: The couple were at the hospital. Even if the machine was wired wrongly...the doctor or nurse would have died, not the mailman! Hahahaha 

     

    And typical husbands don't do hooking up of such machines...typical husbands only do hookers! WAAhahahahahaha   :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:

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    cocopop3011 We Adore You

    cocopop3011

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    Heeeey! Wait a minute! :angry: The couple were at the hospital. Even if the machine was wired wrongly...the doctor or nurse would have died, not the mailman! Hahahaha 

     

    And typical husbands don't do hooking up of such machines...typical husbands only do hookers! WAAhahahahahaha   :rofl:  :rofl:  :rofl:

    Afi Afi Afi! What are we going to do with you!

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    hajnrih Gambling is my Life

    hajnrih

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    Haha, not actually. Ok let me tell you the story. Not that I'm too proud of it, but still ...

    I was invited to a friend's bachelor party a couple of years ago. And you know what boys like most at those parties, don't ya?! So, at the peak of the party we were visited not by one, but from two "highly educated and genteel" ladies, who started ''preaching some chaste guidance'' straight of the door! :D At the end of the ''preach'' we were so ready to praise the Lord', that didn't even noticed the bag of the second woman, which was already 'equiped' with most of our wallets and cell phones! So they left the apartment, leaving us with our tongues hanging out and we noticed the 'lacks' almost an hour later, when we tried to call for a cab... :o Luckily one of the company was a policeman, so we managed to ''localize'' the charming ladies in no time and to get back what's ours. And thanks God, otherwise I don't even want to imagine what I was going to explain to my wife! :vava::D

    No more strippers anymore, I promise! :blush:

    Summer vacations in Bulgaria :drinks: Priceless :wacko:  :vava:

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    cocopop3011 We Adore You

    cocopop3011

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    The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying

    to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think

    how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,

    "There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or “That’s Michael, he's a doctor.'"

    A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the

    teacher. She's dead."

     

     

    :D

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    cocopop3011 We Adore You

    cocopop3011

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    Fun Things To Do In An Elevator:

    1. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

    2. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"

    3. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

    4. Sell Girl Scout cookies.

    5. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

    6. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral

    7. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, motion sickness!"

    8. Meow occasionally.

    9. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.

    10. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

     

     

    NUMBER 10 - literally had me laughing my head off this morning!

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    cocopop3011 We Adore You

    cocopop3011

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    The Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram. Private Jones' mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me."

    So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. "Listen up, men," says the Sergeant. "Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander."

    Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office. "Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother died. Couldn't you be a bit more tactful, next time?"

    "Yes, sir," answered the Sarge. A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with, "Sarge, I just got a telegram. Private McGrath's mother died. You'd better go tell him and send him in to see me. This time be more tactful."

    So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation. "Ok, men, fall in and listen up. Everybody with a mother, take two steps forward -- NOT SO FAST, McGRATH!"

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    cocopop3011 We Adore You

    cocopop3011

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    The boss was concerned that his employees weren’t giving him enough respect, so he tried and old fashioned method of persuasion: He brought in a sign that said “I’m the Boss” and taped it to his door. After lunch, he noticed someone had taped another note under his. “Your wife called. She wants her sign back!”

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